a new trend in therapy - crybabies be gone!

This was published in the Wall Street Journal on May 15, 2012. I thought it was an interesting read and that these tips may be useful for all when faced with 'whiners'

Often, people don't realize they are whining. the trick: Raise their self-awareness without using accusatory or sarcastic language.

Go gently: Even therapists say this conversation sometimes ends with the client walking out. Start by telling the person who is whining how much you appreciate him or her.

Use a tone of genuine curiosity.  You want to get to the bottom of the problem together. You may want to mirror the negative communication. 'I don't know if you hear yourself, but listen to what you just said.'

Point out there's a pattern.   Say, 'Do you realize it's the fifth night in a row you've talked about this?' Offer to tape future conversations so the person can hear for him or herself.

Open up the conversation.  A person whining about work may be feeling unwell, or stuck in his career.  Ask, 'Is there something else that's wrong?' Explain that it is hard for you to hear the real issue because the person's tone and attitude are getting in the way.

Ask the person what he or she plans to do about the problem.  Hold them accountable.

Suggest alternatives. The person might want to write down a list of complaints and leave it in a drawer. Or keep a journal and circle repeated complaints in red pen. Or spend an hour at the gym, or do something outdoors with you.

Set a time limit.  For 10 minutes a day the person can whine unfettered - and you will listen.  Then time is up.  Do this once a day, once a week - or challenge the person to a 'whine-free day'.

Give positive reinforcement.  Say, 'I love to hear good things about your job.'  praise each increment toward healthy communication.

Is your team performing at its best?

One of the services Carolina Life Coaching offers is Team Development. We use a variety of tools to ensure a customized training solution that will take your team to the next level.
Optimally we start with each member of the team completing a MBTI Form Q or Step II assessment. Each member then has a personalized feedback session, facilitated by a certified MBTI practitioner, to ensure they choose their own best-fit type and also have an understanding of type as defined by the MBTI.
Another option to set the table for the team discussion and development is to use the Everything DiSC Workplace assessment.
Similar to the application of the MBTI, each individual would complete an assessment, followed by a coached feedback session to ensure they understand the instrument and their assessed type.
After each member of the team has been assessed and had a personal session it's time to work on TEAM.
I believe that Patrick Lencioni's "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team" offers an excellent model for development and scrutiny, however, I do prefer to put a positive spin on the title and say we'll work on the 'Five keys for a successful team'.

I have a very effective group of activities that help teams explore, debate and grow as they work through this model.
All in all with a better understanding of themselves, a better understanding of other members of the team and a better understanding of effective and successful teamwork; team production increases substantively.
Call (919-336-2324) or email us today to learn more and to get the process of improving your team's production started now!

Our first contest! Winner receives a free Everything DiSC profile ($50 value)

I'm working on www.whatsyourdisc.com and want to replace the photo of the building with something that has: more color and is relevant to the assessment tool - which focuses on communication styles and workplace behaviors.

The Everything DiSC products use this image to represent the concept that underpins their products.
I am thinking it would be good to incorporate this image into a background to replace the 'skyscraper' but am not beholden to this concept.

Please send entries to:
karen@whatsyourdisc.com

Contest will end on Tuesday May 8, 2012

If you don't want to formally submit an entry I would still love to hear your ideas, which you can post on our Facebook page or in a response to this blog post.

Thanks!

Here is a sample profile so you can see what it is you can win!