It's all about perception, really

I know you've heard this before and certainly I have been promoting this concept of late because I have vowed to make 2013 a positive year.
To do this, each time I find myself thinking negative thoughts or flat out being negative I do my best to spin it around and come up with some positive thoughts to replace the negative thoughts.
Not always easy, but surprisingly not as difficult as you might imagine.
However, I doubt I will ever be as capable of being positive in my outlook as my crazy mutt. He is permanently happy and positive.
For instance, this morning it is once again gray, dreary, raining and cold.
This weather pattern has been very common of late.
I heard the rain last night and by the time morning arrived I was already depressed that it was another miserable day.

I was settling into some work when the permanently happy mutt was being a silly nuisance and I realized he hadn't had much activity this week.
Reluctantly I told him we'd go for a SHORT walk.
With a grimace I selected wet weather gear and got dressed, meanwhile the mutt was wiggling and dancing and galloping with excitement.

When we stepped outside it was even worse than I expected.
The mutt pranced down the street enjoying the exercise and lovely day.

I spent the first 1/2 mile or so with my head down, wishing I wasn't out in 40* and rain.
The mutt was trotting along unaware that it was awful weather.
He was just doing what he normally does while out. The water was literally rolling off him - physically and emotionally - like water off a duck's back.

He was splashing through puddles and pretending that the water running in the culvert was the New River (a favorite spot of ours).

I allowed myself to be sucked in by his joy.
A smile came across my face as I recalled some childhood memories of playing in the rain.
I took in the scent of the rain, the quietness of the morning and that it felt good to be on the move.

The only thing that changed was my perception of the gray, cool, rainy weather.
My mood went from bah humbug to feeling energized.

How your perceive things is entirely up to you.
Will you be positive or will you be negative?

Resolve to add something this year

Each year at this time my most frequent request from clients and others is the topic of resolutions.
How to make them, how to keep them, who to tell, etc.
This year I starting thinking about resolutions in November. I was looking at all the stuff going on in the world and watching the media focus on food and drink for the holidays and of course the month-long shopping rush that begins around Thanksgiving.  Juxtaposing this eating/drinking/spending with the standard resolutions of losing weight, reducing alcohol consumption, getting finances under control, left me shaking my head.
So I decided to focus on changing the type of resolution rather than rehashing the standard ones.
I propose that this year, when you make your resolution, make it a positive one; one that adds something to your life, rather than focusing on removing something or reducing something.
Here are some of the ideas I had:

Learn a language

Volunteer work

Take a course, learn something

Start a new family tradition (or re-ignite an old one)

Have a reading hour (or half hour) with the whole family

Try new foods (especially healthy foods!)

Reconnect with people you've lost contact with

Re-engage with a passion you've left behind

Pursue a new interest

Set aside time for yourself

Reconnect with your religion or spirituality

I am sure you can think of many more. Once you decide on your resolution I do recommend writing it down and making it SMART.
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Time bound

Here's a short piece I did on the local news the other day. (Three days post flu!)

Conflict, Change and Stagnation

Last week I asked what people's perception of these three terms were. (I asked my followers on Facebook - join the conversation here)
Overwhelmingly the response was that all three: conflict, change, and stagnation, were negative.
I completely understand why the perception is that they are negative but let's delve a bit further.

Conflict is essentially about opposition. It might be conflict in the Middle East that is war or it might be trying to decide between two apples in the grocery store; which apple is better?
Conflict in the workplace may be as simple as a difference of opinion on what coffee to buy or as complex as what the organization is doing right or wrong.

Many years ago conflict was presented to me as the motivation for learning.
In these terms conflict is internal for each of us.
What inspires you to go look something up?..........for me I'd say it is because I find it unsettling to not know (this is my conflict), so I go find out. Once I find the indisputable information I can relax - I have no conflict (well about that particular issue).

In organizations, conflict can be damaging and it can be beneficial. It all depends on how 'conflict' is treated. I know we have all been in tense situations at work because we don't agree with someone or something, but we must remain silent.  Disagreeing isn't acceptable/tolerated/or allowed.
Clearly in these settings conflict is a negative. It causes internal stress, angst and has no positive value.

However if it was OK to safely discuss ideas - even conflicting ideas - perhaps change could occur, positive change.
Great things are typically born of conflict, it leads to discussion, debate, collaboration and invention.

But wait, you say, everything is just fine as it is.
"Why reinvent the wheel?"
Well because there are new innovations that might be an improvement.
"But it will cause me conflict - I am used to doing things a certain way - I don't want to learn a new way."
We all know people that refuse to move forward, are you one?

Although he isn't as successful as he once was, I am reminded of Tiger Woods who at the peak of his career decided to make a swing change. This is a huge undertaking for a golfer and one that can derail a career. He was asked why he wanted to make a radical change when he was so successful with his current swing. His response was that he was as good as he could be with THAT swing, however he believed he could be better and to be better he had to adopt a new swing.
His conflict was that he believed he had the ability to be better than he was, he wasn't good enough in his eyes. He realized he had reached a plateau, so he changed. Even though his game did suffer initially and it was really hard work he stuck with it. In the end he did emerge better than he had been before.

The concepts of conflict and change apply to businesses, individuals, teams, and relationships. Whether it seems that 'everything is just fine' or it is clear that things aren't fine, having an avenue to safely discuss conflict which creates the opportunity for change (improvement) is a very good thing.

Without conflict there is no change; without change there is stagnation.

To stagnate is to cease motion, activity, or progress; to come to rest; to cease to advance or change; to become idle or cease to flow. Think stagnant pond.

No way that's a good thing, so change must be good :)
And since conflict is the precursor of change, it must be a good thing too!

I hope I have created conflict with regard to your beliefs about conflict and change!

Do you think about the past or the future?

This post is aimed toward individuals 40+ but may have some good thoughts for all. Enjoy!

I was thinking the other day as I was listening to someone talking about events that were 20 years ago, that I rarely hear this person talk about things in the future.
I then started to think about other people in my life that when given an opportunity to take the spotlight or to guide the conversation, they talk about things from decades ago.
I then started to think of people that consistently talk about the things they are going to do.  I am not talking about the person who is always 'going to do' something but never does, I mean the person who has lived a full life and has every intention to keep living a full life.

I can tell you that the people that focused on the past are individuals that one would typically call a pessimist.  Often I sense they feel older than they are, they long for the old days, and don't really look forward to or at least talk about the future.
I am not saying they don't want to have a future, I just mean they don't seem to set goals for the future or dream of things they will do down the road.

On the other hand, the people who seem to have goals and dreams to pursue 'in the future' tend to be optimistic and thankful people. These people will look at the past and appreciate those good times but don't have a desire for it to still be 'those days'. These individuals seem to focus more on today but also have desires and dreams they are pursuing for future good times.

When we are young, the vast majority of us have clear goals and exciting dreams to fulfill, as we age I believe this can slip away as we are busy dealing with life day in and day out. I can't help but believe that having dreams to pursue, regardless of your age, and focusing on future achievements will serve you better than reliving your 'glory days' over and over.

The next time you are in a social gathering with friends or family, think about what you share or talk about.
Is it memories from decades or years ago that you have likely shared before, with the same folks?
Or is the conversation driven by things you hope to do down the road?

Google search tips, that really will help!

Think you're a Google Search power user?

You might not know all the ways to get faster, more focused search results. Here are five tips:

1. Exclude terms. If you're looking for information on Vikings, the old Norse explorers, you don't want pages on football's Minnesota Vikings. Use a minus sign to tell Google to exclude pages that contain a certain word, like this: Vikings - Minnesota
2. Site search. Limit your search to a single website or a specific group of sites, by using site: followed by a Web address or ending. For example, type site:latimes.com in your search and you'll get results only from the Los Angeles Times website. To get results only from U.S. government sites — which have Web addresses ending in ".gov" — add site:gov to your search. Use site:edu for colleges or site:mil forU.S. military sites.
3. Wildcard search. Use the asterisk to substitute for any word in a phrase. This can be handy for identifying a particular fact or finding a missing word in a song lyric. Put phrases in quotes. For instance, "Perris is in * county" or "in Penny Lane there is a * showing photographs."
4. Math and conversions. Enter a math problem into Google Search and it will give you the answer (use * for multiplication and / for division). It will also convert currencies and temperatures. Enter, for example, $100 in euros or 72 Fahrenheit in Celsius.
5. More shortcuts. Put "define" before any word (for example, define photobomb), and Google will give you a definition at the top of the results. Similarly, entering "movies" or "weather" before a ZIP Code or a city name will produce a list of films playing nearby or a weather forecast for that area.

scott.wilson@latimes.com

originally printed on

April 27, 2012|By Scott J. Wilson, Los Angeles Times

Are you an inspiring leader?

I was working with a client the other day who consistently complains about the lack of energy in their workplace. It is an organization that has its problems and lack of energy is definitely one of them, however,  I did start wondering what this person was doing - in their leadership opportunities - to motivate people.
If tasked with standing in front of a group of disengaged people how do you respond?
Do you see it as hopeless?
Do you go through the motions with no expectation that anyone will become engaged or be interested?
Or do you take a deep breath, hitch up your pants (figuratively if not literally) and set out to connect, engage and motivate the group in front of you?

Having been a trainer for adults, a middle school and high school teacher and a counselor for troubled teens I have many years of experience of standing in front of disengaged and disinterested 'learners'.
Without question there have been days that I looked at the slump-shouldered people in front of me and thought, "forget it, nothing will happen today". But then I would remind myself that my 'job' was to get my message across.
I would recall successful training sessions where the room was buzzing and light bulbs were popping on the entire time. I can feel that energy just thinking about those times.
Bottom line is that I change my mindset from feeling defeated by the dark cloud in front of me to seeing it as a challenge.
Sometimes its a really, really big challenge.
For me a challenge is really motivating, it energizes me and starts my wheels spinning to find ways to use my energy to ignite my audience.

In my mind I am trying to inspire. I am trying to move the disinterested to be interested. I want to motivate those that have stopped caring about the quality of their work and their contribution to the organization to start caring again.
Because if the fifteen people in front of me become inspired and motivated they take that positive energy back to their teams and that offers potential for others to become more caring and motivated.

So how do you inspire the uninspired?

Why you and your team should know your DiSC

Since becoming an Inscape Publishing Distributor I have been asked many times what Everything DiSC is and what it can do for you or your team/workplace.
I've been told 'we did this assessment or that assessment and its a fun thing to know but it didn't change anything.'
Many people have done the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator at some point (or used a knock-off assessment) to determine your 'type'. Learning type is fabulously interesting and CAN be very useful in the workplace but applying it in the workplace is a long process. As a certified MBTI practitioner I fully support the usefulness of the tool WHEN the organization dedicates appropriate time and money to the process.

The Everything DiSC products are different. First of all they aren't assessing 'type'; they are assessing how you process/operate/communicate in the workplace, they call it your 'style'.

Unlike the MBTI you answer the questions relative to how you are at work.
The assessment is short and sweet and the profile you receive offers an abundance of information on each style enabling you to get a picture of others as well as yourself.
In fact, it will describe how best to interact with each 'style', how you may perceive other styles, what motivates you, and what you find stressful.

Ideally having taken the assessment you receive the results from a qualified and experienced DiSC professional, HOWEVER, the report is so thorough that you can gain a tremendous amount of knowledge by reading it closely.
Taking the assessment in isolation - meaning you take it but others in your workplace don't - is a very valuable experience.  You will increase your ability to successfully communicate. I guarantee that, if you allow me to facilitate your report.
Successful communication is the key to success in life.

In team settings, the reports are facilitated and the discussions are always lively.  People always seem to have 'aha' moments when they discover more about their own style but especially about other people's style.
Once you learn that team member A is a 'D'  and thus prefers to make decisions swiftly and to work independently you will spend less time giving them a host of options and debating the positives and negatives of each option.  Usually when you do this with someone who has a 'D' style you can actually watch them begin to boil or get so turned off by the task that they do a poor job or don't do it at all.

If it turns out your team has a preponderance of 'C's' you will no longer wonder why every task takes so long - they are done to perfection, but things are falling behind. A team that is heavy with C's will need someone else monitoring deadlines and pushing things along.

And a team heavy in 'D', 'S' or 'i' will need some C influence to ensure that steps weren't skipped or information processed too swiftly/inaccurately.

My belief is that the Everything DiSC assessments provide practical knowledge that, once applied, will increase communication; awareness and delivery of information will be done with more skill and that will lead to greater success.

And a lot more pleasant workplace!

Call (919)336-2324 or email today for more information!